I grew up not knowing my beauty.
If we are being honest here, I considered myself ugly and unworthy for love. Not just love from a man but from anyone.
I am not saying this for pity, but to state the fact that we cannot base our worth from others. Because everyone struggles with something and through that suffering we don’t tend to give to others what they may need to hear because we ourselves are lacking what we need to hear. The more we look to others, the deeper our pain will go.
For growing up, I longed to be accepted by others, to be loved and called beautiful. And it never happened. Sure my parents called me such things growing up, but I never believed it because every time I left the house, the world was telling me different. Those I went to school with did the opposite and the media corrupted my thinking. For in my eyes, I was anything but desirable, in fact, I came to believe that nobody would ever want me, unless I was like everyone else.
And this is why this is for you.
Because it is a real battle, and we’re all facing it.
No matter what we look like or possess, we still struggle and our pain still runs deep.
This is for you, because we have all dealt with some sort of lie being fed to us by others.
We have all felt the pain of rejection or feeling as though we cannot measure up.
And this one is for you, because from all this pain and hurt, we have went the wrong way.
Whether we began to bully others or turn to addictions. We try to cover up our pain, pretending we are okay.
If we turn to bullying or trying to overpower it is because we are hurt and broken.
If we turn to flaunting our bodies or starving ourselves so that we may be wanted by man, it is because we are hurt and broken.
And although you may have not dealt with things I went through, it does not mean you haven’t dealt some kind of pain or hurt in your own life. For pain is pain, and I don’t believe that one persons pain is less than another’s. For the pain I feel may hurt just as much as yours, because it is real to me and something I must deal with.
This one is for you.
For you can be healed from what others said or didn’t say.
You no longer have to be labelled by their silence or rude words.
For you can be redeemed.
I lived my life believing those lies and to be honest some are still deeply imprinted in my heart. But I am willing to be healed. I do not want to hold onto their words, their looks or this pain. I am choosing to allow the Lord to heal me from those wounds, and sometimes for wounds to be healed they must be re-opened. However I am choosing to no longer let myself be defined by what I feel the world has labelled me as. Because that’s completely it, it’s how I feel the world has labelled me as. Not who I truly am. For I am who I label myself to be, and now I have chosen to be a daughter of God.
In Him I have hope that I do not have to fit into the standards of the pressing culture around me. And believing the lie that to be loved, I must be thin, beautiful and willing to put myself out there for men to want.
And this is why this is for you,
because you don’t have to be labelled by the world either.
I know this has been geared more toward woman but even if you are a man, this is for you.
Because you have felt just as much pressure and pain as I have, and maybe even more.
And I want to say you do not have to be what other men claim you should be to leave a mark in the world.
For I want to take off the unrealistic expectations the world hurls at you, of what you should look like, act and do in order to be successful, rich, and desirable by woman.
For being a man is more than having women flock to you. It is more than having money and it is more than how you dress.
Being a man is not bought, it is developed.
For being a man is a character you behold not claimed by the number of girls you’ve been with.
The more we follow that road of no longer wanting to love but have pleasure, the more hurt and pain we bring to the world and eachother.
I’ve been there and done that, and it leaves woman more empty and the guys more unsatisfied.
For we are trying to find our worth in each other, when neither of us are giving it.
This one is for you,
because you are worth more than what the media gives you.
Women you do not have to be with a guy to feel loved and Men you do not have to measure up to other guys to be accepted.
Working through the pains of our heart hurts, but it is worth it.
Many of us may have bad habits, addictions or unbelief instilled within us because we have let the lies and pain fester and rot within us. Rather than dealing with everything we have been through, we cover it up and act like we’ve moved on. But how can we move on if we haven’t truly dealt with what we’ve gone through?
Address everything you’ve been through, even if it’s hard. It will take time but give yourself that time. Let your character be developed because that is who we are. We are not what we possess on the outside-not our appearance, our weight, our wallet size or our job. We are defined by who we are and when we know who we are, the world will soon not be able to hold us back anymore.
You see, Jesus came to set us free, but we must continue to walk in that freedom and let ourselves be healed.
People see you for your heart whether you believe it or not.
For once my heart was utterly broken and filled with false images and lies and it left me seeking love in all the wrong places. Trying to be someone I wasn’t and finding my worth in men that didn’t care. My heart was weighed down and it showed through what I did. Our actions reveal what our hearts hold. You see since I cared so much about what others thought of me, I had no respect for myself and in return no one respected me. But after I stepped away from that scene and found out who I truly am, others respect me for I respect myself.
No longer keep being who you think others want you to be or remaining who you are because change is hard and uncomfortable. But I can tell you that no matter how unappealing change seems, it is always far better than staying in the dark hole you are in.
Let me ask you this, if everyone around you were to leave, who would you be without them?
For I realized when I lost all my friends and family, I was nobody because I never found out who I was without allowing man to define me. I tried so hard to be like everyone else and now I see, I had lost myself through it.
You are worth more than those you seek to love you back.
You are worth more than how much money you make.
You are worth more than just your appearance.
You are worth enough to be healed.
Don’t sell yourself short in order to stay where you are because that is all you know.
Ask yourself why you do the things you do, and why you act the way you act.
I am still working through my heart and letting go of the mistakes that I have made because I now know that although I don’t deserve forgiveness and redemption, Jesus claimed I was and to me that is freeing. It is also far greater than anything I could try to attain for myself. For I am no longer letting my past chain me down but accepting that I am beautiful, because Christ died for me and through that, I am loved deeper than the eyes of man and accepted for who I am and not what I do.
This one is for you because we are all people, needing His saving grace.
I believe in you and you are not who the world has made you to be & you can find healing.
In no way I am saying it is easy to go through the memories and pain of our past but I am saying that it is possible and we can find healing for our hearts and minds. For though I was once lost and burdened by all the pain and hurt I dealt with, I can now rejoice with thankfulness of the fullness of life I can now live through Him. For I have chosen to no longer let the world define me, but it is a choice I continue to make to be set apart for I believe that I have a King who has died so that I can be made new in Him and live a far better life than one trying to fit into the world. For looking back, the life I once lived, left me empty, hopeless and broken. Trying to be loved by man who could not share with me the love I needed because they did not have that love themselves. But now I can live knowing I am loved by love Himself (1 John 4:10) and no longer needing to be apart of the world to be someone but accepting that I am already loved, valued and seen as worthy through His eyes. And that gives me hope for everyone who has been where I have been or somewhere darker. For in Him there is grace and light. We are able to be who we long to be, people who love ourselves and others. And to change, it must first start within our heart.
I believe you are able to be a woman who loves herself deeply and in return is secure in who she is without a man because she is secure in her identity in God. I believe you are beautiful, from the inside out.
I believe you are able to be a man who respects woman and other men because you know firmly who you are in God’s eyes. That you are a man of character; integrity and honor.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
2 Corinthians 5:17